January 19, 2008

Road Hazards

I've never been in a car accident. In my several years of driving I'm proud to say I've never hit anything or anyone. My car has been hit by other things however, including an airport shuttle, a deer, and on one glorious, windy morning on I-25 last Wednesday, my car was hit by one of these:

Yes, that's a port-a-potty.

Only at the time it was horizontal and flying.

Impacting it squarely on one side my car simply went right through it. It damaged my car but left only bits of itself behind to lie sadly against the guardrail and dot the freeway with crumpled pieces of fiberglass and plastic.

Hood? Dented and scratched. Windshield? Scratched. Side panels? Scratched. Side view mirror? Gone. Front bumper? Broken and now decorated with what I assume is a shredded piece of toilet paper.

In my rear view the next moment I noticed two things: (1) I was about to be rear-ended by a guy watching the spectacle of several port-a-potties flying off the back of a truck, and (2) there was sure to be a massive, multi-car pile-up on the evening news.

I get to tell my story to the police tomorrow. The guys at the Honda dealership got a kick out of it, but I'm sure the police will take a more sober approach.

What about you? Anyone else hit or been hit by an unexpected, bizarre, or inexplicable object?


Yvonne Montgomery said...

Are you okay? How scary!

Valerie said...

Um you win!

Red Flashlight said...

I'm fine! Not injured at all. My car is a bit dinged up but I was extremely lucky - at least one person rolled his car. Others' cars were totaled. There was an eight-car pileup on the freeway behind me, caused by the other port-a-potties.

Priyanka Shetty said...

Ha ha ha! A DEER?!

Cindy said...

That is HILARIOUS--but really only because you didn't get hurt and, well, because, damnit, it was a portapotty!

Thanks for visiting my blog! I'll be back to visit yours--it's great! I always love to see what others are reading!

Mama Drama Jenny, the Bloggess said...

That is an awesome story.

The only thing I have that's remotely similar is the time that my boyfriend left a giant sheet of glass on my car hood and I didn't see it so I drove around for a half a day until suddenly the wind hit it right and it shot up the windshield and into the air and exploded behind me like a gallon bag of glitter.

You win.

Red Flashlight said...

Yes, Ms. Shetty, one summer night on the Foothills Highway North of Boulder, Colorado I was hit by a deer. A youthful thing with tiny little buds instead of horns. It's a scary and mysterious story - a group of about 15 deer suddenly surged up over the edge of the east shoulder of the road, causing the few cars there to swerve and brake. My poor little deer bashed his head against the passenger side door as my car was slowing down to a stop. His neck snapped around and then he woozily bounded away, running back the way he'd come.

What was down there in the dark to make them stampede like that? A mountain lion? It was two o'clock in the morning. Not the usual time for deer to go prancing across the highway.

Then again, maybe they were drunk.

Heading home from the bar.

The famous Hairy's Bar of the Rocky Mountain Foothills.

Red Flashlight said...

Err . . . antlers.

What has become of me? Have I lost my mind?


Priyanka Shetty said...

Oh deer!!That must've been scary!!Sorry about my self imposed exile..one sizzlin hot post comin up just for ya;)

Priyanka Shetty said...

How come I don't get to see a drunken deer?!Rather unfortunate..